There is a right way to handle this, and withholding is a big risk.
Home › Memphis Child Custody › Denying Visitation
The Honest Answer
No attorney can advise you to disobey a court order, and this page is not going to. What it can tell you is what happens to parents who do it, and what works better.
If you believe your child is unsafe right now, call the office before Friday. There are faster options than keeping the child home, and they do not put you in contempt.
Emergency custody, when a child faces concrete harm and it cannot wait. These get heard within days.
Dependency and neglect, filed in Shelby County Juvenile Court. Anyone can file one, and you do not have to wait on the Department of Children’s Services.
An emergency restraining order, when the problem is a specific decision the other parent is about to make. Entered ex parte, with a hearing inside 72 hours.
A petition to modify, when the conduct is ongoing and the parenting plan needs to change.
A contempt petition of your own, when the other parent is the one violating the order.
Nobody physically stops them on Friday. What happens is a petition for contempt, and a judge deciding whether they protected a child or violated an order. Those are the only two options on the table.
If You Are Wrong
A parent who withholds without the proof to back it up does not just lose that hearing.
The court can order the missed time made up and order you to pay the other side’s attorney fees and costs for having to file. It can also suspend your parenting time. The parent who withheld can end up as the one seeing the child less.
We have seen courts enter orders finding that a parent is willfully violating the court’s order by denying the other parent’s visitation. Once that language is in an order, it is in the file permanently, and every judge who touches the case afterward reads it.
One of the best interest factors at Tennessee Code Annotated § 36-6-106 is each parent’s willingness to encourage a relationship with the other parent. Withholding is the cleanest possible evidence against you on that factor, and it follows you into every hearing after it.
That is the part people do not see coming. A parent who withheld, could not prove why, and looked like the problem can watch the other parent’s parenting time increase substantially. How enforcement works →
If You Are Right
When the concern is real, courts do act, and they can act hard. Supervised visitation. Suspended parenting time. Drug and alcohol testing. A change in the primary residential parent.
But the parent who gets that result is almost never the parent who simply stopped answering the door. It is the parent who put the facts in front of a judge.
Write it on a wall calendar as it happens. Missed exchanges, late pickups, what you saw and when. Many judges treat a paper calendar filled in contemporaneously as better evidence than a phone log or a spreadsheet, because it is harder to go back and build one after the fact.
Before You Do Anything
If a guardian ad litem has already been appointed, call that person first. Before you keep the child home, before you file anything.
The guardian ad litem represents the child’s interests and answers to the court. A concern raised to them lands very differently than the same concern raised by a parent who already withheld and is now explaining why.
You do not have to make that call yourself. If you call the office, Attorney William Young will contact the guardian ad litem for you.
Then what you are describing may itself be grounds to have one appointed, which is its own filing.
The Line
Drinking or drug use during parenting time. Alcohol and custody → Violence in the home. A person living there with a record of drugs or violence. A child left without supervision. Driving with the child while impaired. Medical care not being provided. A child being allowed to view pornography.
The other parent lets the child stay home instead of going to school. Attorney William Young says he is surprised how often that call comes in, and how often the parent making it does not realize it matters. It does. Educational neglect is one of the clearest ways a case gets somewhere.
The house is dirty. He feeds them junk. Bedtime is too late. The child came home in the same clothes. The child says they do not want to go. You do not like the new girlfriend. He insulted you, or posted something about you on Facebook.
Those get raised constantly, and judges have heard all of them. None of them justify withholding parenting time on your own authority.
The Most Common Version
This is the single most common reason a parent calls about withholding, and the answer surprises people.
Most parenting plans and marital dissolution agreements contain no paramour clause at all, because those provisions only go in when somebody specifically asks for one while the agreement is being written. If nobody asked, the plan is silent, and a silent plan is not on your side.
Not the relationship. A new partner with a record of drugs or violence, or a history with the Department of Children’s Services, is a real issue and it is worth filing over. A new partner you find unpleasant is not. How a new partner affects custody →
Almost nobody learns about the new partner from the child. They learn about it from a post, and then that post becomes the evidence. Worth remembering that it runs in both directions, and that your own posts are just as easy to pull up.
A restriction on overnight guests is a negotiating point while the parenting plan is being written. After the plan is entered, getting one added takes a modification.
If There Is No Court Order
Everything above assumes a court order exists. If the parents were never married and no order has been entered, there is nothing being violated, because there is nothing to violate.
In Tennessee the mother of a child born outside marriage has custody and all visitation rights until a court enters an order changing that. The father’s answer is not to argue about it. It is to file. Father’s rights →
Your Attorney
William Young · Of Counsel · Juvenile Court
Attorney William Young handles dependency and neglect in Shelby County Juvenile Court on both sides, along with custody for parents who were never married. He knows the rules of evidence cold, which in that building matters more than it should have to.
Dependency & neglect → · Grandparent custody → · About William Young →
Sam Jaber · Divorce & Family Law
Attorney Sam Jaber handles divorce and custody in Shelby County circuit and chancery court. He has practiced family law in Memphis for over a decade and finalized more than 100 divorces in 2025.
Contested divorce → · Custody modification → · About Sam Jaber →
Common Questions
Yes, in the sense that nobody will physically stop you. What follows is a petition for contempt, and a judge then decides whether you protected a child or violated an order. If the concern is real, the far better move is to file something rather than simply withhold.
You can, and it is a bet. We have seen a parent who was wrong watch the other parent's time increase drastically, and we have seen a parent who was right watch the court escalate against the other side. The difference is almost always whether anything was filed.
The court can order the missed time made up, order you to pay the other side's attorney fees and costs, and suspend your own parenting time. Courts also enter orders finding that a parent is willfully violating the court's order by denying visitation, and that language stays in the file. Withholding is also direct evidence against you on the statutory factor about each parent's willingness to encourage a relationship with the other parent.
Courts do act. Supervised visitation, suspended parenting time, drug and alcohol testing, or a change in the primary residential parent are all on the table. But the parent who gets that result is usually the parent who filed, not the parent who simply stopped answering the door.
Drinking or drug use during parenting time, violence in the home, someone living there with a record of drugs or violence, a child left unsupervised, driving impaired with the child, or medical care not being provided. A dirty house, junk food, and a late bedtime do not clear that bar.
Almost certainly not. Most parenting plans have no paramour clause, because those only go in when somebody asks for one while the agreement is being written. The new partner has to be the problem, meaning a record of drugs or violence or a history with DCS, rather than somebody you find unpleasant.
Yes. A dependency and neglect petition can be filed almost immediately in Shelby County Juvenile Court, and anyone can file one without waiting on the Department of Children's Services. If the harm is immediate, an emergency custody motion can be heard within days.
Then there is nothing to violate. In Tennessee the mother of a child born outside marriage has custody and all visitation rights until a court enters an order. The father's remedy is to file and establish an order rather than to argue about access.
That person should hear the concern before you keep the child home and before you file anything, because it lands differently than the same concern raised by a parent who already withheld. You do not have to make the call yourself. Attorney William Young will contact the guardian ad litem for you.
That one matters more than most people assume, and it comes up constantly. Educational neglect is one of the clearest routes into a dependency and neglect case.
It is possible. Withholding without proof is one of the more reliable ways to damage your own case, because it speaks directly to a statutory best interest factor and because it makes you look like the problem in front of the judge.
Yes, on a paper calendar, filled in as it happens rather than reconstructed later. Many judges treat a contemporaneous paper calendar as better evidence than a phone log or a spreadsheet. Keep texts, photos, and messages as well.
Free consultation. Call before Friday, not after.