Does cheating affect who gets custody in Tennessee?
Not on its own. A court deciding custody applies the statutory best interest factors, and adultery is not one of them. What does matter is the new partner and the child's exposure to them.
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The Short Answer
The Affair Is Not the Issue. The Paramour Might Be.
A court deciding custody is applying the statutory best interest factors. Adultery is not one of them, and a judge is not going to move a parenting schedule because someone had an affair.
What does matter is the new partner and the child’s exposure to them.
When it starts to matter
Immediately, if the paramour is around the children and the paramour is a problem. Drugs. Alcohol. A felony record. A history of abuse. Inappropriate behavior in the children’s presence.
That is not a claim about the affair. It is a claim about who your child is now spending time with, and courts take it seriously.
In Juvenile Court
A Different Question Entirely
If the parents were never married, the case is in Shelby County Juvenile Court, and cheating is not a factor there in any form.
Where it can surface is dependency and neglect, if there is inappropriate sexual activity in the presence or proximity of a child, or exposure to it. That is a narrow and specific allegation about a child’s environment, and it has nothing to do with anyone’s feelings about the affair.
Where It Actually Bites
Alimony and Property Division
This is the part people do not expect, and it is where an affair carries real financial consequences.
Alimony
Adultery can affect an alimony determination in Tennessee. It is one of the factors a court is permitted to consider.
Property division works differently
Tennessee Code Annotated § 36-4-121 directs courts to divide marital property without regard to marital fault. The affair by itself does not get anyone a larger share of the house or the retirement accounts.
What does reach property division is dissipation. The same statute lists each party’s contribution to the dissipation of marital property as a factor, and defines dissipation as wasteful expenditures that reduce the marital estate. Money spent on hotels, trips, gifts, or an apartment for a paramour came out of an estate both spouses had an interest in, and a court can adjust the division to account for it.
The affair is not the argument. The spending is. That distinction is the whole difference between a claim that goes somewhere and one that does not.
If You Want to Make the Case About It
Bring Evidence or Let It Go
Clients often want the case to be about the affair because that is the part that hurts. Worth being clear about what that costs.
Litigating an affair raises attorney fees, sometimes substantially, and a court is not going to reward it as a moral matter. If there is a real argument — the paramour is a danger, or marital money is gone — then it is worth making and it needs proof.
If the honest answer is that it hurts and there is nothing behind it beyond that, spending money on it buys nothing.
Your Attorney
Two Courts, Two Attorneys
SJ
Sam Jaber · Divorce & Family Law
Attorney Sam Jaber has practiced divorce and family law in Memphis for over a decade and finalized more than 100 divorces in 2025. He handles contested divorce, custody, alimony, and property division in Shelby County circuit and chancery court.
Uncontested divorce → · Contested divorce → · Alimony → · About Sam Jaber →
WY
William Young · Of Counsel · Juvenile Court
Where the parents were never married, the case is in Shelby County Juvenile Court and Attorney William Young handles it. Adultery is not a factor there, though exposure of a child to sexual activity can surface in a dependency and neglect case.
Juvenile court → · Dependency & neglect → · About William Young →
Common Questions
Adultery, Custody, and Money — What You Need to Know
When does an affair start to matter for custody?
When the paramour is around the children and the paramour is a problem. Drugs, alcohol, a felony record, a history of abuse, or inappropriate behavior in the children's presence. That is an argument about the child's environment, not about the affair.
Does cheating affect custody in juvenile court?
No. If the parents were never married the case is in Shelby County Juvenile Court and adultery is not a factor. It can surface in a dependency and neglect case if there is inappropriate sexual activity in the presence or proximity of a child, or exposure to it, but that is a narrow allegation about the child's environment.
Does cheating affect alimony in Tennessee?
It can. Tennessee Code Annotated section 36-5-121(i)(11) lists the relative fault of the parties as a factor a court may consider in its discretion. Tennessee courts have been clear that alimony is remedial rather than punitive, so fault is weighed alongside the other statutory factors rather than used to punish.
Does cheating affect the property division?
Not by itself. Tennessee Code Annotated section 36-4-121 directs courts to divide marital property without regard to marital fault. What does reach property division is dissipation, which the same statute lists as a factor and defines as wasteful expenditures that reduce the marital estate. If marital funds were spent on the affair, a court can adjust the division to account for that.
Should I make my divorce about the affair?
Only if there is something behind it. Litigating an affair raises attorney fees and a court is not going to reward it as a moral matter. If the paramour is a danger to the children, or marital money is gone, that is worth pursuing and it needs proof. If it simply hurts, spending money on it buys nothing.
What kind of evidence matters?
For a custody argument, evidence about the new partner and the child's exposure to them. For a money argument, financial records showing what marital funds were spent and on whom. Feelings about the affair are not evidence of either.