A Contested Divorce Is a Lawsuit. Here Is What That Actually Means.
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What Is a Contested Divorce
A contested divorce is any divorce where one spouse is unwilling to sign a marital dissolution agreement. It does not matter if both spouses want the divorce — if they cannot agree on the terms, you have a contested divorce. The issues in dispute could be custody, alimony, property, or all of the above. The moment your spouse refuses to sign, the nature of the proceeding changes entirely.
Essentially, a contested divorce is a lawsuit. You are suing your spouse for divorce. It proceeds like a lawsuit — complaint, service, answer, discovery, motions, mediation, and if it cannot be settled, trial. Most people are not prepared for that when they walk in the door.
The Process
It starts with filing a complaint. The complaint must allege grounds for divorce — in Tennessee the most common are irreconcilable differences and inappropriate marital conduct. If the complaint does not allege grounds beyond irreconcilable differences, it will need to be amended later. The same applies to alimony — if it is not alleged in the initial complaint, a spouse cannot seek it later without a timely amendment. Getting the complaint right from the beginning matters.
Once the complaint is filed, the other spouse must be served. Service starts the clock. Without service, nothing moves. After service, the other spouse has 30 days to answer. If they do not answer, the filing party can seek a default judgment — though courts are typically sympathetic to a party who failed to respond and will give reasonable time to correct it.
Serving a spouse who is deployed or moving between duty stations is its own problem, and a military divorce is handled differently from the start.
Once an answer is filed — and usually a counter-complaint — both sides begin discovery. This is where the case gets expensive. Depositions, financial disclosures, business valuations, asset tracing. Discovery is where money goes.
Mediation is always ordered and most attorneys try to schedule it early while discovery is ongoing. Many contested divorces settle at or around mediation. Many do not. The ones that do not go to trial.
Along the way, early emergency motions may be necessary — a pendente lite petition for exclusive use of the marital residence, temporary child support, temporary alimony. These are not optional in some cases. A spouse can empty a joint account before a divorce and it is completely legal under Tennessee law. The other spouse's recourse is to move fast.
What Gets Fought Over
Child custody and support are almost always the most contested issues in a divorce. Alimony is close behind. After that, money and property bring out the worst in people. Hidden assets. Business valuations. Retirement accounts. One spouse emptying the joint account before the other. These issues are tedious, expensive, and extremely adversarial.
Discovering hidden assets, conducting business valuations, tracing retirement funds — all of it takes time, and time is what costs the most in a contested divorce. Most attorneys bill between $250 and $500 per hour. A custom motion, a deposition, a round of financial discovery — each one adds up. By the time a contested divorce reaches trial, both parties will typically have spent tens of thousands of dollars. Retainers will almost always need to be replenished before or after mediation.
Three questions come up in nearly every contested case with children. Does cheating affect custody? · Can I move out without losing custody? · At what age can a child choose?
Timeline & Cost
A year is a reasonable floor for a contested divorce in Shelby County. It is not unusual for these cases to run two years or more. Courts do not push divorce cases the way criminal courts push criminal cases. There is no hard scheduling order. Attorneys push contested divorces forward — and when an attorney has not been paid, cases slow down.
This dynamic — the billing problem — is one of the most underappreciated realities of contested divorce. A common pattern: one spouse has significantly more resources than the other. The less-resourced spouse starts running out of money to pay their attorney. Their attorney slows down. In some cases the attorney withdraws, leaving the client without representation at a critical stage. Courts are sympathetic to unrepresented parties and will give time to find new counsel, but it can grind a case nearly to a halt.
Sometimes the best outcome is settling. Not because you gave up — but because the cost of continuing, financially and emotionally, exceeds what you would gain by winning. That is a real calculation Sam Jaber will walk you through honestly. Settling is often far cheaper and better for your mental health and anxiety than grinding it out to trial.
A Word About Other Firms
A contested divorce is one of the situations where billing abuse is most common. Some firms will show renewed interest in a client once they get a look at the financials — and then bill aggressively. Early motions that have little chance of being granted, aggressive discovery that may not be necessary, strategic delays that keep the meter running. You will see the same attorneys who filed twenty unnecessary motions be the first ones to bail once the client runs out of money.
Sam Jaber's approach is different. He will tell you what the case actually requires, what it is likely to cost, and when settling makes more sense than fighting. He knows what these cases look like at every stage. He is not going to run up your bill to find out.
Your Attorney
Sam Jaber · Divorce & Family Law
Attorney Sam Jaber has been handling divorce and family law cases in Memphis since 2011. He handles uncontested and contested divorce, custody, alimony, and property division. He will protect your rights, go after what is yours, and not let the other side delay the process. He will also tell you honestly when settling is the smarter move.
Uncontested divorce — from $700 flat →
Common Questions
A contested divorce is any divorce where one spouse is unwilling to sign a marital dissolution agreement. It does not matter if both spouses want the divorce — if they cannot agree on the terms, you have a contested divorce. Essentially, a contested divorce is a lawsuit. You are suing your spouse for divorce.
A year minimum is a reasonable expectation. Courts do not push divorce cases the way criminal courts push criminal cases. Attorneys push contested divorces forward — and when an attorney has not been paid, the case slows down. A motivated attorney on both sides can move things faster, but a year from filing to resolution is the floor, not the ceiling.
Most attorneys charge between $250 and $500 per hour. Time is the real cost driver. Discovery, custom motions, and client communication are the biggest consumers of time. By the time a contested divorce reaches trial, both parties will typically have spent tens of thousands of dollars on attorney fees and mediation. Retainers will almost always need to be replenished along the way.
Child custody and support are almost always the most contested issues. Alimony is a close second. After that, money and property — hidden assets, business valuations, retirement accounts — tend to bring out the worst in people.
Possibly. An award of attorney fees in Tennessee is based on the same factors as alimony. It is not a guarantee. Even if your spouse acted inappropriately, an award of attorney fees depends on the judge and the specific facts. You will need to continue paying your attorney while the case proceeds.
It is legal. One spouse emptying a joint account before a divorce is permitted under Tennessee law. The other spouse's recourse is to file a pendente lite petition asking the court to protect marital assets going forward. Move fast.
A pendente lite petition is a request for temporary relief while the divorce is pending — exclusive use of the marital residence, temporary child support, temporary alimony. These are early-stage motions designed to establish the status quo while the case works through the court.
Yes. Mediation is almost always ordered by the court. Most local attorneys try to schedule it early while discovery is ongoing. Many cases settle at or around mediation. The ones that do not go to trial.
Cases slow down significantly. When an attorney has not been paid, they slow down. In some cases the attorney withdraws entirely. Courts are typically sympathetic and will give the unrepresented party reasonable time to find new counsel. But it can grind a case nearly to a halt.
Yes. The complaint must allege grounds for divorce. The most common are irreconcilable differences and inappropriate marital conduct. If alimony is not alleged in the initial complaint, a spouse cannot seek it later without a timely amendment. Getting the complaint right from the beginning matters.
Sam Jaber — honest answers, real experience. Free consultation.